My Gay Montauk Life

-disclaimer: this is not all true-

Welcome to my home. My home away from home. My very-not-gay-home. So not gay, in fact, that I am single handedly keeping the rainbow on the east end of Long Island in view until Hurricane Earl (who is gay, by the way), comes to help me out. In practice, this means skipping down the street in my relatively skimpy bathing suit. Which has its perks.

So I have been here in Montauk since Saturday, and will be here till Monday, assuming that Earl (that 'Mo) doesn't knock out all modes of transportation. I have worked real hard to make sure I have tanned well on all sides, have finished one Michael Crihton (sp?) book and started a John Grishom book. I'm telling you, that's more exhausting than it sounds.

Oh wait, this entry is supposed to be about the gay scene in Montauk - and looking back at what I have written so far, I seem to have captured its depth quite fully. My iPhone gaydar application shows that the next gay male is 11.8 miles away (this is true). So I forge ahead in my gayness all alone, overdoing it just a little to make Montauk just a little more gay than it was when I got here.

It was also decided last night that it was a really awesome win for the gay community to capture the word 'gay', because it is a pretty great adjective (as distinct from a noun). So I decided that our next conquest should be the word "awesome." So do what you can to help the "gay community" become the "awesome community."

Now you know about Gay Montauk. Does that make you a better person?

ABC News - Earl Remix

Category 2? What??

Downgraded? What? Why? No!

There is much unrest in the house after the downgrade of Earl to a category 2 storm from category 3. We don't buy it. We're not happy. Category 3? Psh - childs' play. Category 4?? BRING IT! Category 2? Barely worth our time.

We're banking on this baby picking up speed again, especially now that we've resolved the prosecco crisis and gotten the cricket out of the bathtub. We also had a moment with the slugs out back (before they meet, we're convinced, their ultimate demise).

The slugs narrowly escape an untimely end by the shadow dogs.

local media remains clueless

Check out this ABC video

These guys don't seem to have a clue as to what's going on.  

Stay tuned for our video news report!

Sunset before the storm

Wait, bad weather? What?

Where do they go?

Where do butterflies go during a hurricane?
Where do slugs go?

This is as close as we have to wildlife here at our house in Montauk... that and the cricket in the bathtub. What will happen to them when winds reach 70mph?

Technology Tracking...

As I wait with baited breath for my iPad to arrive (originally scheduled to arrive on Wednesday), I continue to pester the FedEx website (entering my second tracking number of the week... ugh).

Apparently, it's coming from Honolulu. Tracking results have halted since yesterday afternoon. Yikes. As of Sep 2, 2010 7:16 PM CST:

Date/Time Location/Activity
Sep 1, 2010 4:46 PM HONOLULU, HI/Picked up
Sep 1, 2010 4:46 PM HONOLULU, HI/Picked up
Sep 1, 2010 4:46 PM HONOLULU, HI/At local FedEx facility

I am increasingly worried that Earl and FedEx are going to come to a standoff on Saturday afternoon. Thankfully, we have a ridiculous pile of technology to tide me over. Photos to come.

Flashlights!

We found some! They're little, but they'll do. Whew.

Hurricane Preparedness HQ

Preparedness Checklist:

Things we must do before nightfall

- close umbrellas and bring all outdoor furniture inside

- make sure herbs are well-picked and buy cumin (the best spice ever)

- restock prossecco

- buy candles and flashlights

- research how to tape windows

- have a beer

- get the cricket out of the bath tub and check on the slugs in the outdoor shower

- H needs to learn how to ride a bike in case we need to send him out for provisions

- connect flickr/picassa account to this blog

- watch Cee-Lo's F*** You music video a couple more times and learn choreography

- charge all computers, phones, and other electronic devices

- add more things to this to-do list - ideally that include food or beverages

Candles? Hmm...

So the store didn't have any more candles. They also didn't have any batteries.

A full audit of the house did reveal candles! But...


That's right. We're armed with four boxes of birthday candles, no flashlights, no batteries. We do have lots of firewood, but that's unlikely to help us in a hurricane. If one of us has a spontaneous birthday, however, we're set!

Hurricane Preparation Websites

As an example of excellent delegation, I will be compiling a list of hurricane preparation measures while Bubbles searches for the best methods for taping our lovely french doors.

Here we go. Good luck everybody.

• NOAA's Hurricane Preparedness Disaster Supply Kit
• Chiff.com's Top Ten Hurricane Tips
• hurricanesafety.org's Hurricane Safety Checklist
  

Preparations Underway!

Preparations are underway! Alexander & Ngoc are out getting food and beer for the next couple of days, but Porkchop and I have discovered a gross oversight: Prosecco. With only one bottle left in the fridge, this is certainly something that needs to be rectified stat.

Entertainment-wise, we're set. There are currently seven of us in attendance, with six laptops, three Kindles, three iPads (with another in-transit) and at least one or two phones per person. The eletronics portrait is forthcoming, though with the high proportion of identically spec'ed items, we need to be careful about not mixing things up.

Dishwasher is running. Washing machine running. If power is lost, things will at least be clean.

Now to round up the candles...

vacation + hurricane = blog

Ten friends set off from NYC on a weeklong vacation in the sleepy beach town of Montauk, NY... little did we know that we would make a new friend... a tropical fellow named Earl.

Montauk is the eastern tip of Long Island and is well exposed to the Atlantic Ocean and the projected path of Earl.

We are staying right on the water and should have quite the ride...

Live from Montauk, NY it's Hurricane Earl!